When First Impressions Are Wrong
It is very helpful to continue your week by adding new or old habits that make you feel alive! Whatever happens, what remains is the movement of everyday life. Come with us into the new experiences we created and would like to share with you.
Before we begin, we would like you to know that the friends who visit our home are now part of this everyday life. And that adds a little more flavour.
We also found time to take a walk around our neighbourhood, which first led us to a nearby café and later to a nearby church that little Nikolas loves visiting because he enjoys seeing the priests and the icons. From these visits, we learned two things.
- Not to rush to conclusions about people.
- Not to judge the entire clergy when we see shortcomings.
Let's talk about this with complete honesty.
At the café, we met a woman who spoke very freely and whose questions were very direct and personal. Where do you live? Do you live nearby? Does the child go to school? She also said that when Nikolas grows up, he will have great success with girls because he is very handsome.
As the conversation continued, the woman revealed that she has a child with Down syndrome, that raising him requires many sacrifices, and that she herself had recently gone through a major and serious health problem. And that is when your heart softens. Your defences disappear because, behind a person's directness, there may be a need for communication and emotional closeness. A desire to feel familiar and connected. We learned that lesson immediately and, in the process, made a new and beautiful acquaintance.
A lot is said about the clergy, just as a lot is said about all people. However, because the church is associated with peace and a better life, we are often a little more willing to criticise negatively those representatives who fall into mistakes or who seem to care more about procedures than about spiritual guidance.
And so the days continue, with the demands of work and life, but always with the willingness to learn something new and to challenge even ourselves if it helps us become better people, helps Nikolas, and helps those around us.
Has it ever happened to you that you had a prejudice about someone, only for that opinion to change once you got to know them better?
If you read all the way to the end, thank you. We would genuinely love to hear your thoughts, memories, or feelings in the comments. And if you ever feel like writing to us more personally, you can always send us a letter at:
✉️ unplug.thrive@gmail.com
— Mary & Chris
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I can't think of a situation where I formed a negative opinion of someone and later had reason to reconsider but I'm sure it can happen. I'm so glad that the priest showed a loving attitude to dear little Nikolas. Even young as he is he's forming impressions too. I thought it was cute how he considered beards a little strange. My husband has had a beard for so many years and has also found that to happen.
ReplyDeleteHello Granny Marigold. Thank you so much for your honesty. That is exactly why we try to stay as close to Nikolas as we can without imposing our own interests or way of thinking on him. Of course, that may never be completely possible because, as adults, we all see the world through our own experiences. Still, we hope he will have the freedom to explore many things for himself.
DeleteIf Nikolas met your husband, I'm quite sure he would spend a long time fascinated by his beard! He would probably call him a priest because, at the moment, that's the image he associates with beards after all our visits to church. We just hope your husband wouldn't mind! 😅
The previous comment was from Granny Marigold
ReplyDeleteYour Father's Day sounds lovely and how nice that you received flowers.
ReplyDeleteI try to see the good in people because I know we all have a story.
Hello Karen. Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I think what you shared is a valuable lesson that you try to see the good in everyone. As difficult as that can sometimes be, I believe it is always worth trying. We may not always succeed, but the effort itself can make us a little kinder and a little more understanding. Thank you for sharing that with us.
DeleteNo never happened to me as yet.
ReplyDeleteIn my profession I was trained to sum up people rather quickly, I seemed to be right each time.
It's lovely the lady was friendly and had someone who would listen to her telling a small part of her story, that would make her burden a little lighter.
Flowers for men, wonderful and I know of many who love receiving such a gift or just receiving flowers for no reason.
Seeing you are having a heatwave, stay cool.
Hello Margaret! We are so happy to see another comment from you. It would be very interesting if you ever felt like sharing some of your experiences from your profession with us. I think I felt both joy and a sense of relief. That smile on my face will stay with me for a long time, just as the lesson I learned that day will. I absolutely love flowers and often give them as gifts to people I care about, but I had never received flowers myself before. Mary's gift made me feel truly special. And honestly... who could possibly feel less of a man while holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers that smells wonderful?
DeleteI really enjoyed reading this.
ReplyDeleteIt’s true how first impressions can be misleading, and sometimes all it takes is a little openness to see the heart behind someone’s words or actions.
Your story about the woman at the café touched me--it shows how much we all long for connection.
And I loved how the priests welcomed Nikolas with kindness and humor.
Those moments stay with us.
Thank you for sharing such honest reflections.
Hello Veronica! Welcome back to our little home. I think you're absolutely right. That openness you mentioned is so easy to talk about, yet so difficult to practise. As a therapist, I've been trained not to let my own beliefs and assumptions come before the person in front of me. But if we're honest, those first thoughts still cross our minds from time to timethey're part of being human and, in many ways, part of how we survive. I don't think the goal is to eliminate them completely. I think the goal is exactly what you described. openness. Being willing to pause, to listen, and to let our first impression change. And I'm quite sure little Nikolas is already looking forward to his next visit to see the priests... and, of course, their beards! 😅
DeleteHello Linda. I truly admire the way you think and the effort you make to see the good in people. As you said, we all carry a story that may prevent us from seeing someone clearly at first. But do you know what crossed my mind as I was writing this reply? Isn't it even harder when the image of someone changes in the opposite direction when they are someone you initially thought the very best of? Especially when they are people close to us. I think those situations can be the most difficult of all because our emotions are deeply involved.
ReplyDeleteReading this like… wow, I needed this perspective today. So true! Life has a way of teaching us to look a little deeper
ReplyDeleteThank you sincerely for your lovely comment. We are especially happy to know that our post could be helpful in some way. It has been the same for us through our own experiences. We would be delighted to have you as part of our little community.
DeleteI have often used the phrase, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Something my father used to say to me (he was a 30-year career police officer in the UK). His other saying that still sticks is, "There but for the Grace of God go I." For me it's "Don't burn any bridges" because very often you realize that a person has his/her own struggles in life that we might not be aware of. They may seem one person on the outside but on the inside it's a different story. A lovely thought provoking read today. Love the fact that Mary gave you flowers, enjoyed the story of Nikolas and the priests. We have had two very good friends in the Priesthood.
ReplyDeleteHello Denise, greetings from Greece. Thank you so much for the time you dedicate to reading our blog. Thank you for sharing your father's words with us. They immediately reminded me of the things my own parents have told me over the years. There is so much wisdom in them, especially when you see it reflected in real life. We hope our story was good company for you.
DeleteMary and Chris, I think tattoos have had that effect on lots of us. But way back, before I had my own sons, a lady I worked with in the church office said that her son had gotten his first tattoo while in the service. And she wasn't thrilled about it (this was back in 1992 before nearly everyone got one), but what she said next changed my perspective to this day. She said that even though she would have preferred he not have a tattoo, she knew that he was still the same young man that she loved dearly and that the tattoo didn't change his heart. And I've never forgotten that valuable piece of information. Later in life, my own son, at the age of 25, got his first tattoo, written on his arm. It is written in Hebrew and speaks about worship. I felt the same as my friend, way back. It wasn't my favorite thing, but that piece of ink/art had nothing to do with my son's heart or changing who he was. It was just a creative expression and a reminder to him of what worship means. I have many more examples, but you don't need me going on and on. But thank you for the thought-provoking question, as always.
ReplyDeleteHello Debbie, good evening from our very hot city! I read your comment with great respect because I know it takes a great deal of courage and honesty to share personal experiences. I truly believe the way you approach both motherhood and life is wonderful because, even when you disagree, you leave room for conversation and freedom. In that way, your child knows your opinion while still having the freedom to make their own choices, but also understanding there are boundaries. I also think that is how you earn your child's trust and keep communication open. To me, that is even more important. Thank you so much for your beautiful contribution to our page.
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